2004-07-04-4:13 a.m.
I hate general mobo-jumbo.

One day a man visited a rabbi for advice about how he could repair the damage he had done by slandering someone's name. The rabbi told him to take a bag of feathers to a field and throw them into the wind. When he did this, he returned to the rabbi. The rabbi then said, "Now, collect every single feather and when you have, then you will be forgiven for slandering."

Chanani told me once that he's glad when fast moving cars call him dirty names cause he's Jewish. He told me because it's not a motive of power but a motive of weakness. Why else would they call out at you if they weren't afraid? The powerful have nothing to worry or prove.

Talking....talk talk talk talk talk. The weak use words to destroy. But talking is a powerful weapon. It's so powerful because it can create many beautiful things. It raises people's souls, liberates minds, makes the nonexistant into reality, moves people to tears. For so much power to create, it's used by the weak-spirited to crush people that they can't with their hands.

It's used to escape the reality of one's true self. A very weak person who has faults like everyone else.

It's a waste to listen to general talk. Even more so to listen to strangers with advice. What do they care? Everything has a motivation, talking is no different. What is the motivation to talk? That... is an important question to remember.

The Shingles are worse. The nerve damage feels fine (except when I touch the back of my head) but the back of my throat feels blocked and sore, it's very hard to swallow. My only regret is that I can't savor water.

Talked to Sarah on the phone for awhile, lots of hours. I killed my throat over that girl, anyone else I would have said goodbye to. I guess I only choose to be close to certain people. I'm not so interested in finding new people to talk to anymore.

Sarah:: "Benji, are you going to die?"

Not dead yet. I want my Sarah-pat-on-the-head before I go though. :)

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