2004-05-17-5:48 p.m.
Ari: "SO, have you done any writting lately? Ha! You see? You told me that I never start a conversation and now I am starting one but it's still not about me. (laughter)"

Ari is concerned about people. He is a lover of humanity. Every time I see him, it's always:

"Hey Benny-Boy! How's it going??"

Every person in the workshop gets a hello. No one is ignored. When you say hello to people, you are concerned about them. And I'm not talking about the 'how's it going' while walking away type hello.

I'm talking about stopping and smiling and with feeling in your voice and with eye contact you ask "How are you?"

Hellos are amazing. It means you see people and everyone wants (needs!) to be seen. We want to love but we are so desperate to BE LOVED.

Skippy the Dog will scratch my leg, drop a huge red ball on my lap (oh, how it hurts if dropped in the wrong spot), will jump up smiling. He wants to be seen, he wants someone to call his name, give him a scratch behind the ears. It's in his genes: he wants and needs this attention.

Someone scratch behind my ears. The touch of a loved one with their fingers counting your hairs. It doesn't matter how many hairs, each number brings joy. We need a Hello! It's the most non-touching way possible to say "we see you, we need you, LIVE goddam you!"

Can people live for themselves? Maybe. I'm not sure. It feels more rewarding to live for yourself and then give to others. Screw the peace corps and donating a dollar a day to the poor starving villages of a place you can't pronounce. Fine: it's kindness, maybe it lets you sleep at night, you fulfilled a social duty of not being a bastard. You can say: I wrote a letter to a poor south american child. Good for you.

But what about around us? Doesn't that matter? The things we can do, at every moment, for those people we already know? Say hello, damnit. Smile. Find a reason to be concerned. Ask how people are doing. Be a listener instead of a talker. You won't get the browny points for helping a person who has plenty of food and water, but they will appreciate it. And if they don't, they will later.

If writing has taught me anything, one aspect of humanity comes to mind: that every character needs to be unique and every person in this world has their own makeup. Go out and talk to people! Say hello to the stranger, even smile at them. And if you have enough balls, offer them some coffee or tea. You pay for the tea, they give the talking. Kindness.

Even talk to the people you are afraid of. Talk to that bald man or that black man, or weird people. They all have a story to tell, they could use a hello, a pick me up. Everyone needs a pick me up. This is a sad world. We have all the food/water/clothing/shoes we need but we still have heartbreak and empty souls.

Start with your friends. Give them a hug. Why? Because you wanted to, goddamit. Haven't seen a friend for a while? Say you missed them, or that you were worried about them (you were worried about them, right?) Giving love, without expectations or preconditions, is the most amazing action a person can do in the world. Ari somehow always does this with his mind and heart. He has molded amazing human beings.

So can you, so can everyone. Be a better person yourself and then just say hello.

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