2004-05-02-12:16 a.m.
This computer is really sick. The sound doesn't work, the mouse doesn't work, the video is twice as large than it should be. This computer is full of nasties. It's crawling with them. But everything else still works and the keyboard works. So I'm still typing. I know the cure. I'll make this computer run again. But I can sleep at night knowing I don't waste my time writing hitchhiker programs just to get a kick out of life. The question is why fuck with people you don't know? People are dangerous, they want power. Look at the roads. Speeders, people who block cars, people who cut off cars, drag racing strangers on the highway just to get ahead.

It's power. And if any of you (who are reading this) got power... you would be a danger to everyone around you. But you know what? Power consumes. Vanessa's brother got killed because I'm sure he got caught up in the power scheme. Those who killed him will keep gambling and then they will eventually die. The cycle continues.

Those speeders might one day loss control over their power. Traffic accidents happen everyday and yes it can happen to you. Don't moan on your bed saying "how could this happen to me?" Because we are HUMAN, like everyone else. Things can happen. A couple days ago a newlywed pair were speeding in their Hummer and the thing flipped over on the highway, killing them both.

When are we ever satisfied? Our egos are so huge. Do we really think we are God? No matter how strong a person gets, there is someone out there who is stronger. And even if you're in a fight against someone who is weaker, they might get lucky. Did you see the knife in his belt?

But the human race will continue, because the fools who rush ahead will die and the ones who are left will rush ahead with them. There are enough people on the planet to continue.

It's a waste to just fool yourself with ego and then die. A waste.

It's very important to choose your battles wisely! Fight for something worth the time. Don't fight for speeding, to prove you're a man, to argue for nothing. The point here is balance and living. Anger should be used for other people. What a waste to get angry because someone called you a "shit-head." Let him call you it! Life is worth more than silly fights. Besides, 100s of people a day talk behind your back. Let them, the stupid fools, if it makes their own ego subside.

Your can't make everyone happy, that's for sure. In fact, you might be doing a good job in life if people are envious and talk behind your back. They are lossing power.

But going after power, it's a waste of time. You're going to die anyways. It's one of those religion themes: we all go to the same place, 6-feet under. Power is about cultivating one's self. Kindness is about cultivating other people. In Kindness, you gain a little bit, but the majority goes to the other person. With Kindness, you actually get to see the world through many different views. Power doesn't allow that though, because one is only focusing on himself. Power then takes away the ability to give over to another, because one is only concerned with his own being.

He thus misses out on understanding the human experience in life.

Think about it next time someone calls you a "fuck." Is it worth the small amount of time? Is it worth gaining power?

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