2004-04-08-1:51 p.m.
I feel pretty worn down. Almost depressed. Well, yah, depressed sounds pretty right. At times, I feel very alone.

And at other times I'm totally thankful to have a moments peace by myself, chilling out in my room, listening to music, reading a book, laying out on the Green. Anything to just enjoy the day. Other people can join in, but they aren't on my mind.

But right now, I feel I need a person. A friend. A lover. A smile or a whitty statement. I guess just throw the whitty statements out, they can be pointless. Sometimes you just need people.

And sometimes you don't.

And if you don't have friends, God is always around to talk to. Of course, I could just get a picture of Kurt Cobain and talk with him. I'm sure he could understand being alone.

The last part of school is draining me I guess. I haven't been able to do anything of the things I love doing. Or even start new "adventures." I haven't been to martial arts for 3 weeks, I haven't revised the Gatekeeper yet or done reseach on other ideas I have for a story, no running or weightlifting, no bike rides at the beach on beautiful days, and generally no chance of just wandering around finding new things (and if you wander around long enough, they are bound to find you instead.)

Life feels depressing because of the ball and chain of super huge projects I need to complete this week. I can type this diaryland entry but I know I still have a ton of papers and information to organize.

Maybe I don't need people. Sorta an illusion of the mind, but I like relating to them. I guess all my friends have been pretty busy right now as well so we havn't been on good talking terms. We don't talk, we just look busy and depressed.

And my heart break still knaws on the back of my mind. I can't shake it. My cold is gone though.

I want to sleep for a long time.

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