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2002-07-12-2:35 p.m.
I don't get why I'm so tired for... I just woke up!!

I'm reaching day 2 of not taking a shower. Why, you may ask, am I not taking care of myself? Mourning involves not taking baths... I plan to take one for shabbat though so please don't be afraid to get close. :) Of course, one can avoid how nasty one feels after several days of non-showering practices. Oiled foods are bad because they make one's face and hair turn oily. But yes, here I am talking when last night I maked fish and fried rice in oil! I've also learned staying away from sugar can make one's teeth feel fresher longer. But I can brush my teeth... and sadly enough I'm on a sugar diet. This summer I told my Mom that I wanted to loss weight and be more fit. I look normal and healthy, but I wouldn't mind being stronger. From then on, I have been restricted in food, no sugar, and alas! a salad with every meal. But I'll go back to the health food stuff later.

List of what's annoying me now:

Long nails

Thick beard (an inch off my face)

nasty hair

I think that's basically it. Now you all know I look like a freaky-scary-going to kidnapp your kids- type guy. On Tish B'Av (Jewish day of mourning and fasting) it's going to be even MORE fun, I sleep on the floor and I wear raggy-dirty clothes. It's a depressing day... I truely hate having to face it because Tish B'Av is the day when one has to face all his inner demons and failures, it is a day of national failure for my people. Seeing that during the 9-days, leading up to Tish B'Av, one should really lower one's happiness, maybe I should stay away from Tovah for awhile. =)

Enough about mourning, I long for the 15th of Av, for no day is happier and the young maidens of Judah dance clad with white in the vineyards.

Ok, back to me being a caged rabbit. Mom and I went to the health food store because I wanted to grab some snacks. We went to every box and read how many per serving size...

Mom: "Well, if you get hungry, from this box you can have 3 crackers."

That's... nothing though! Food is about substance. That is why Slim Fast doesn't work for me, it gives me energy but I lack that good physical feeling of something in my stomach. Of course I've found out that Slim Fast is great before a fast-day. I'll have to start working out sooner or later but I also need to find my dark blue bandana, it's my head covering where a kippa lacks.

Oh yah, Mom and I made up. Just let her cool off for a week and I started talking to her yesterday. She's kinda bitter but that's sometimes normal. :D

July is the month my mother's father took his life, so she's usually testy during this time. I didn't find that out till yesterday. All the strange things I've should have known long ago!! Like my Mom's side of the family has a line of diabetis. That just shocked me. But my Mom and I don't have diabetis, thank G-d. Yet again, another reason to give up sugar.


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